There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
~ Charles Schulz

Thursday, June 22, 2006

LOOK AT YOU.


"This doesn't feel good anymore. Let's buy back our stock!" Cool, say the broker-boys, we'll take our cut on the downside, too!

Well, never mind, you still know how to get that quick spurt in the AQH, dontcha? You know, ARBITRON? Those really, really clever guys who figured out how to slice 'n dice a thousand diaries into at least forty-seven demographic slivers and get you your big 3.0 in M 25-34, 6-10AM. Can't wait for that belt-spybot they're working on--lotta algorithm-tweakin' goin' on in Beltsville, you can bet on that. Think of all the nifty iron-clad averages you can feed the 24-year-old former-mail-clerk buyers next spring!

Juggle the playlist, flip the format, call yourself the hot new Movin', or Martini on the Rockies, The Wolf, hell, call it Melvin. What-EVER! That'll make the needle jump! For a while.

Howard and Mel gone to the bird? Shuffle in some lesser pottymouths until you feel the surge--Opie and A., for instance, those smart-as-a-whip Sex-and-St. Patrick's dudes. Now you're talkin' -- never mind you have to share 'em with the other bird--you'll show them audience. But hey, it's all in the family, guys, what with all those bird shares CC holds.
And never mind the FCC just took smutfines to the capital expenditure level--hell, Republicans gonna rule for a thousand years. Aren't they? Time to clean up the operation anyway. Sell off a few sticks. No big.

Or, let's get loco and tell your listeners to slam-phone the Latino competition and yell your morning team's name in their ears to win a quick buck. Now that's a business plan. So it got you some bad-good press and cost a measly six thou fine. You can still get it on, right? Cost o' doin' bidness.

So...just curious...you work out how you're gonna get your sound into those millions of cute little pocket telephones yet? After lunch. Maybe take a meeting.

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